Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mothers Against Drunk Sewing

I often feel like Friday night is that shiny finish line tape at the end of a race. Not like I've ever ran a race to really know...but stick with me.

You've been pacing yourself all week, giving yourself pats on the back for not using the television as a babysitter or ignoring your whiny baby while on Facebook. You even kept your cool when she bit you while you were on the phone with the cold and unfeeling sales rep. You've done a few yoga poses, maybe even spent a minute in silent meditation knowing that if you don't *findtheinnerpeace* you will never finish this week's race. However, Friday comes and things that rolled off your back on Monday are now setting you off easily. You white knuckle it until that sweet, sweet bedtime hour comes and you can see the shiny finish line tape. You feel me?

On a recent Friday night, rather than take a much deserved bubble bath, I decided to tackle a damn sewing project...after white knuckling it. Yeah, not a good idea. Let me illustrate my state of being with a picture:

Notice the tall glass of something fruity to the right of the machine? I had the brilliant idea that I could have a happy hour with my sewing machine. But reading a complicated sewing pattern while imbibing does not mix, people.

The pattern was for a shopping cart cover and seemed simple enough, but there were multiple layers of fabric involved as well as turning it inside out. As a side note: I never thought those covers seemed necessary before I became a parent, but now that my daughter likes to chew on the handle of the grocery cart, and my sudden stops send her failing against the metal sides, I've reconsidered. Of course, rather than spend $50 on a boutique cover, I thought I could whip one up...on a Friday night.

Needless to say, I got to this point:

Which meant a phone call to my mother. Being the amazing, talented, and super caring woman she is, my mother not only answered my call while in the middle of a dinner party, but she also spent 15 minutes talking through the pattern with me on the phone. How anyone can understand a pattern without a) seeing the pattern, or b) looking at the fabric, is beyond me. She's got special skills. Although her first advice should have been to not drink while sewing, she eventually pointed out that you can't turn something inside out when you've sewn all three layers together in the middle. Ah, yes. I'm a quick one.

After a few sobering moments on the phone with my mother, I finished it up and even made a cute bag to put the cover in. I was quite proud of getting through that evening, but learned that I'm plain stubborn. I wanted to finish the sewing project AND have my happy hour to celebrate winning my weekly parenting race, but the two simply don't mix. You'll just end up drunk dialing Mom.

I think this last picture speaks for itself.


  1. Love the cover! And such a wonderful story to go with the pictures for when Emerson grows up and really understands that mommies need their drinks too!

  2. I say we raise a glass to Moms! Cheers!

  3. OK, did you plan to take that picture of the cart cover in the wine aisle? Perfect! Also, while I've never tried sewing while intoxicated, I find that sewing after midnight often leads to the same issues--and it's much less polite to call mom at that point!