Thursday, June 23, 2011

hopping the train to Crazytown

I'm not an impulsive person. I've always wanted to be, but when the moment came to hop the train to nowhere or get matching tattoos, I'd cave. It's not that I don't like to have fun or be spontaneous, I just don't like to have regrets. Besides, now that I'm a mom, impulsivity is limited to pulling a u-turn to go to the park on the other side of town instead of the one you always go to. Unfortunately, when it comes to decisions about my hair, all reason leaves my body and mind, and I hop the train to crazytown.

I've been growing my hair out for years now, determined to make it past shoulder length. I must say, I made it pretty far.

Nice, huh? Well, the humidity hit hard in Maryland and I wanted a cooler, summer 'do. Commence looking at umpteen googled pictures of the likes of Carrie Mulligan, Sienna Miller, Kiera Knightly, and Ginnifer Goodwin. I easily imagined myself thinner, better dressed, and oh yeah, and famous. Surely I would have the paparazzi following me to the farmer's market that weekend!

Reality had truly slipped by the time I dialed the local salon and made an appointment for THAT DAY. Oh Hindsight, how I wish I could bring you back with me in my time machine to the past. Never, Jill, never make a hair appointment the same day you decide to cut more than 1 inch off your hair. Coincidentally, NPR published a story about impulsively getting one's haircut just days after mine. It was frighteningly spot-on and hilarious: read it here.

The stylist I saw has a very hit-and-miss reputation, as every one of my friends in Easton can attest to. I say "saw" rather than "see" because after this haircut experience she will never be seen by me again. I don't blame her completely, because, like I said, I knew she was a wild card and took the risk anyway. However, she used a razor to cut off all 10 inches of my hair from beginning to end, resulting in the same blunted, overly layered look I often gave my dog when I trimmed his fur myself. Not exactly what I was going for.

Without further ado, let me show you a few pictures. First, the pictures I showed the stylist:

Yes, that's Carrie Mulligan. Yes, I thought I could look like her. Yes, I'm crazy.

Finally, here's what I look like now:

I'm sure you're all saying to yourself, "Oh, she's overreacting. It's not that bad." You're right. It's not that bad. I can go out in public and not feel ashamed. But it's just not what I wanted. It's a brown helmet and I wanted a crown of glowing tendrils. However, it IS just hair and it WILL grow back.

One thing to know about me from the get-go is that I'm always thinking about what I can learn from bad experiences. I'm a chronic self-improver and I know I annoy my friends sometimes when I over-analyze. So reflecting on this experience, I'm torn about how I should have handled myself when I saw the finished product in the salon chair. I didn't lie and say I loved it, but I also didn't honestly share my disappointment with her. What do you do when you get a bad haircut? Swallow your loathing and move on, or ask for a manager? I felt equally to blame for my own rash decision, yet unless we give feedback, poor stylists will remain poor stylists. Also, has anyone out there EVER gotten a good haircut that actually looked like a picture you showed your stylist? I'm dying to know what others do in this situation.

I've been sewing and knitting up a storm lately, so there should be some show-and-tell later this week. Mostly, I've been addicted to Pinterest, which if you haven't experienced yet, prepare yourself for a world of delicious eye candy.


  1. Wow. You are lucky you are such a beautiful lady no matter what, because you're right, that is totally not the haircut you asked for, especially in the back. Grrr! When I decided to lose 10 inches of hair last year, the stylist did a horrible job. I was so conflicted because, um, she ruined it once, so why should I think she could make it any better, but I'm also cheap, so I wanted to give her a chance to fix it for free rather than paying for ANOTHER new haircut. But I still had some LENGTH that she could work with, and I thought I'd give her one more chance. I tipped her again when she fixed it (it was BETTER, but not enough that I'd ever go back to her--so why did I feel like I needed to give her more of my money?). Why did I feel so terrible about letting her know that she screwed up MY HAIR that I have to live with every day?

  2. Oh my dear, I really had an "emo" cut in my head when you told me about the cut. It is not Carrie, but it is much better than the visual I had mocked in my head that my sister could now stunt double in a Japanese rock band. Really, you need a range of highlights to add in some good texture and depth and great product to make it look stylish. Pshhh. Not that bad sis - just need some umph. Can't wait to see you and the hair in person soon.
    Love ya!